"Getting Ahold of Yourself After Getting Dumped"

If you're like most guys in your situation, you were never so depressed in your life until just recently when your woman left you. You missed meals because you were too lethargic to eat, you moped at home in front of your TV, and maybe you even cried when no one was looking.

And unfortunately, in that emotional state you were in, it made you extremely unattractive to your ex, so your chances of getting back with her became almost zero.

Just let this sink in for a minute... she became ÒThe PrizeÓ in your mind. This is exactly the opposite of what you want, which is for her to be chasing you. When you pursue her, it pressures her and pushes her further away.

You're going to need to get ahold of yourself and regain your confidence, so you'll sweep your ex off her feet and set everything back to normal.

Learning to Love Yourself Again

Get out a sheet of paper and write a list of at least 20 things you like about yourself. The reason this remedy is important is that it's too easy to beat yourself up right now, and you can re-gain your confidence and happiness by logically reasoning out how great you are.

Keep the list and keep referring to it throughout the next few weeks.

Stop Being Beta

It's time to break out of the mold your ex wants you to be in right now. What does she want? Since she's broken up with you, she wants you to feel lost and lonely. That way you, the weak, beta-ized man, are completely unattractive to her and she can feel okay with her new life without you.

Do you follow me so far? She wants to have no reason to be with you anymore. She wants you to be the repulsive beta male.

But here's the real kicker: If you are not lost without her, then your ex-girlfriend, lacking the emotional validation of knowing she controls you, will start to instead be the one who feels lost without you.

Putting Your Life Back Together

Now it's time to eliminate your depression and become non-needy.

The first thing to do is start a program of exercise if you're medically able to. Exercise been proven to ease the symptoms of depression due to:

1. The release of endorphins (chemicals that make you happy) in your brain.
   
   
2. Increased blood flow to your brain.
   
   
3. Reduction of cortisol (a hormone linked with stress) in your blood.
   
   
4. Improved sleep at night.
   
   
5. The mere fact of you getting you out of your house and being distracted from your situation.

Exercise has also been proven to make you smarter and more confident, which are two advantages that will help you re-attract your ex.

I know when you're depressed exercise is the last thing you want to do, but remember: overwhelming force. Physical exercise is not easy and never will be, but you have no choice but to get out and do it. I'll get into specifics of how to exercise later, when we discuss the Attraction Dials.

The next thing you need to do is rebuild your social network. I say rebuild because most guys in relationships make the mistake of abandoning their social circles. You're going to need to have friends for three reasons:

1. A guy with friends is more attractive to a woman than a guy with no friends.
   
   
2. Your friends will give you whatever emotional support you need. A lot of men screw up by trying to get emotional support from their girlfriend. This is a huge mistake which causes their girlfriends to lose attraction for them. Your job is to give her emotional support, never the other way around. If you want a good model of this, watch Sean Connery's James Bond movies from the 1960s. Bond never gets emotional around his women. Instead he's the strong man who draws the woman in. While the woman is emotional, he is the calm center of her world.
   
   
3. It's going to give you a life beyond your woman.

As with exercising, I'll explain how to rebuild your social circle when we get into the Attraction Dials. (Being popular is one of the Dials.)

The third thing to do to put your life back together is to start some new hobbies. Your options are endless:

• Take a class. Cooking classes are great because there are tons of women in them, and when you meet your ex again in Week 4, cooking her a meal is a great way to get her alone with you at your home.
  
  
• Do some volunteer work. If you're passionate about something, it makes you more attractive to women.
  
  
• Get involved with a hobby club in your area. It's best if it's a chick-friendly hobby. For example, if you're into board games, few women like chess, but lots of them love Scrabble, so choose the latter.
  
  
• Dancing. Women love to dance, and you can easily learn a skill like ballroom dancing (yet another environment where you'll be surrounded by women, by the way).
  
  
• Yoga. Improves your posture and reduces stress. As a bonus, you'll be one of only a few guys in a room full of hot, sexy women.
  
  
• Music.
  
  
• Playing a sport.

Fourth, become obsessed with your work or school. Pour yourself into your activities. Whenever you're continually achieving goals and making financial and career progress (which is exactly what you do with work or school), it gives you a long-term elevated sense of self-esteem and confidence. If you're stagnating, the result is exactly the opposite.